Art Implants...

My daughter recently asked me, while in the local Comic shop, who the characters were on a new Marvel promo sitting there on the counter. It was on newsprint and meant to look like an old newspaper, with the Submariner and Human Torch on it. I said they were from the 1940s, and WWII. She asked me why people today didn't come up with their own heros. Ya want the short answer?

We don't belong to you.

Now, Harris Comics, due to several slow business days on eBay, is harassing artists who draw Vampirella and shutting down their auctions. Like with early Marvel characters, Harris didn't invent Vampirella, or Eerie and Creepy; they just robbed a grave to get her. No matter that they paid, it's still robbery.

The 1960s Vampirella lacked an important modern improvement: breast implants. Digital Xerox art by Arthur Suydam (note repetition of bat shapes, swiped figure and background from Frazetta Death Dealer on horseback).

That's the obvious question to most people outside Comics--why don't you people come up with your own ideas, new ones, instead of perpetually mangling other people's ideas totally out of recognition--like turning the Human Torch into Barbecued Man?

Another failure of "Realism" in comics: if someone's on fire, why would their body have shadows on it?

I often say that the trouble with modern comics is that the "Fans" invaded the Industry, driving out every last bit of maturity. At least with the Japanese Manga scene, they have the sense to keep the Fan (Dōjinshi) and Professional products clearly separated.

Is it really appropriate to use brain-damaged modern gladiators to promote comics for kids?

Here in America, there is no separation at all; it's not necessary because no matter how slick or how much money's behind it, there's still really nothing but Fan product.

That's Fans, like a million monkeys at typewriters, all tapping out absurd variations on what men like Jack Kirby created. It'll never work, because it ain't honest.

So what's the matter with me, that I'd rather whip up something new than go to work for these parasites?

I'd sure be a lot richer and more famouser if I joined in.